Happy Holidays/ Merry Christmas!

hope it was a great one!!!

Gee, the traffic is terrific!

Somedays, I get like this.

DIY Matte Nail Polish

You can get matte nail polish without going to Ulta and buying OPI or Orly Nail Polish?! Somebody alert the press!
Yes, you can & for some people they'd prefer to buy that, but I liked the idea I saw on tumblr. (sorry blogger)
As you can tell, I'm not the best at putting on nail polish but I try. All I needed was some loose eyeshadow, clear nail polish, and an old eyeshadow brush (preferably on you don't use anymore…hence the word old!) OH, and some q-tips and nail polish remover for the mess ups :)
It actually looks like it came from the store…well in my terms because I can never paint my nails correctly.
just make sure you wash your hands and lotion them well afterwards because it is loose eyeshadow :P
Enjoy!

Urbane

 There's nothing better than seeing Black girls who can go out into the world and present themselves in a fashionable manner. They can be chic and have some of that urban flair all at the same time. I love that about us Black girls.
Who run the world?!
GIRLS
kendall <3

I love the green blazer. I'd like to own one very soon

This has got to be the cutest bun style I have ever seen.
All credits to
Teen Vogue's Tumblr Page
Kendall
<3

Mi Mejor Amiga

Please excuse my faces and obscene hand remarks LOL.
This girl. right here. mi mejor amiga. for real.
I can't even explain how much this girl has made my life. She's made the past three years of my life amazing and it's sad that we're moving away in like 4 months. She's the truth & she wrote about me on her blog, so now I'm writing about her. LOVE YOU TY!
Kendall
click! for Ty's blog!

9 Years of Friendship

Europe 2011

EUROPE. LOVE
kendall

Sometimes You Have to Be a Little Weird

ain't nothin better than being that sweet southern girl!
okay so that had nothing to to with the post, but I will have a post up soon called…
Southern Heart, Yankee Brain
can't wait to write it!

Just a Little Reminder

The world is such a beautiful place.
Czech Republic, 2011

Before

After

I miss being a kid. Growing up is so hard. I just want to be a kid again. The hardest thing I had to spell was independence.
OH THE IRONY.

Scarf Pandemic

I have the weirdest obsession with scarves. Not just regular scarves: INFINITY SCARVES. As if the bold and capital letters weren't enough LOL. I just think these things are AHHHHMAZING! They look so warm and cozy! I'll take them to college, but it's really hard to find winter clothes in Georgia. It's impossible. You try it.

I Swear to God

If I hear A Woman's Work by Maxwell one more time when I'm trying to sleep, I'm going to scream.
It's a beautiful song, but I have that Love& Basketball scene stuck in my head every time...and I just don't want to sleep with that image in my mind.
:DDD

Tonight

After watching Tuesday's episode of Glee (like 5 minutes ago) I found myself wildly bewildered by the ideas of self-worth, spontaneity, our own ambitions, and even love.
I guess it's my generation, but teenage love seems more prevalent everywhere I turn. It's like an epidemic that never seems to stop. It's like you have to be a teen in love and if you're not, well, you're a lonely, low-life, hopeless romantic loser. I don't want to feel that at all. Do I fantasize about a teenage romance? Of course, what 17 year old girl doesn't?! Do I want a boy to hold my hand, hold me close, kiss my forehead, and eventually share one of the most important gifts I have to offer? Yes. It's human nature. I guess, if that's what you want to call it. Sounds cliché? I know.
Sometimes girls feel unworthy of guys (I don't know if that was vice versa). It feels like we change our hair color, straighten our teeth, and slim our bodies just for guys not to notice us…
but the odd thing is…there is, there has to be someone out there.
and I'm sure when that person comes all those negative ideas filled up inside my twisted head will be released.
Until then, I'll be patient :)

My Sundays Just Got Better!

YEEEEE!!! Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen they are back! I am beyond excited. Real Housewives of Atlanta on tonight at TEN! Don't even play, this show is my favorite!
AHHHHHH!!!

Feeling Trapped

My god. I really don't understand why when I finally let go of something it always comes back to patronize me. This has to be some sort of sign. I've had ideas of deleting people off my facebook (specific people) because honestly it's starting to get on my nerves. It's like I'm not interested in this person, but he and his shit keeps coming back to bother me. I guess I'll stay friends on facebook until I graduate, until then just have to grin and bear it. Kendall

Dear Kim Kardashian,

Stop it. You're now disgusting me. I refuse to watch the show now. Why would you do this?

The fruits of my labor

I went to a community garden to do my botany project and for once I felt a little peace. Everything was so natural. Nothing there was fake like the world I live in. It was real and genuine. I couldn't help but feel at peace with the world. I felt one with it. I used to hate soil, but feeling its earthiness grounded me. It was a strange feeling. It's the only place I felt alive.

sigh.

I believe I'm a little fucked up.

my life right now is an unexpected mess.
my ex defends his new girlfriend's shit starting best friend.
my mother is pissing me off.
i don't have a sense of who i am anymore...
and the only thing that is making me feel a little better is...
well nothing.

Look At What Summer Has Done!

So you're probably looking at this picture like Oh My God you got tan! This tan is so ridiculous and it happened within twenty minutes or so. It was crazy! The lake will do that to you. I had the best time over the summer and I'm so sad it's almost over. I had the best time with my best friend Tyler. We grew so much as friends. Working at summer camp was at times stressful, but I will miss those little campers dearly. I know I worked them and they worked me, but we grew together. And you know, I learned something from them: Youth is a beautiful thing and we must cherish every minute of it. This summer has taught me that I'm entering the world soon (like less than 11 months) and that I've grown up and that I'm not a kid anymore. I look at my little 8 year old group and I think that maybe, just maybe I've influenced their life in some way. They have such a long life ahead of them and I wish them all the joys of their childhood. As for me, my childhood is pretty much over, but going back to camp and being a kid again made me realize that their is always time to relax and not to worry. So here I am, three weeks away from my senior year...I'm not afraid; rather excited. I'm ready to enter the world my little 8 year olds call a "scary place". Soldier through it class of 2012. It's our time.

Love,
Ken

What I find Important: The Hapa Project

Most people today have heard of the Hapa Project and what it has done for multicultural/racial people all around the world. The Hapa Project is a multiracial identity art project created by American artist Kip Fulbeck. The project embodies a range of mediums, including a published book, traveling photographic exhibition, satellite community presentations, and online communities.



here's one from flickr that I found pretty amazing.

It's really important to me because as an African American, specifically lighter skinned, if you will, I get asked questions all the time like...

"Are you mixed?"
"What are you?"
and my favorite
"I've never seen a black person with freckles. You really sunburn?"

It's pretty amazing what these preconceived notions can do to someone. For the longest time I kept asking my mum what I am, and she would tell me but I never felt fully satisfied. I saw all my cousins who were asian and german and scottish, but I was just black. With two black parents, but I never realized they were so much more. This is what I am.

My mother Is African American, British West Indian, and Merrimac Indian.
My father is African American and Irish.
and as for me...
I'm Kendall and I'm finally okay with being just that.

click here for the pictures
click here for the wiki about the Hapa Project
click here for Kip Fullbeck's Hapa Project page

Taylor Swift: America's Sweetheart

All from Teen Vogue (pictures on Photobucket)

I love Taylor Swift. I love her music. I love her sense of identity {c'mon what girl wore cowboy boots and dresses before Taylor?} Anyway, her sense of style and herself has dramatically changed since she appeared on the music scene. I love it. Keep up the good work TSwift. Can't wait for your next album! Oh and she can rap :)

Kendall

High School

I wrote this when I was transitioning to junior year.Everything I wrote happens to be very true
:)

FRESHMAN
imagine a world where you walk on a campus and you have NO idea where you're going. You walk into the wrong class filled with tons of elders.
OH SH*T. Oh it gets better...the sophomore you've had you're eye on since elementary school is in that class. You try not to blush but you end up hitting the door on your way out. clumsy. You think all your teachers hate you. You have some friends to sit with a lunch, but you'd never dare to step outside of the box because that doesn't happen in high school. You painfully get through all of your classes, and you go home. Parents filled with tons of questions like "how was the first day?" "did you meet anyone new?" Your answer: nope! You try to sound happy but you know it's gonna be the same the next day...and probably the next. You think life sucks. Upperclassmen boss you around. You don't like it, but talk out of line once...oh it's over. Months go by...it gets better. You aren't as scared. Some elders know who you are. The year ends well. Did it suck? A little.

SOPHOMORE
second year. still the underdog, yet it's not as bad. okay you can do this. walk on campus feeling like you're on top of the world. You see the freshman. You laugh. You know it's only been what two months since you were in their position, but you still think you're better. You can now navigate your way through the buildings. You know where to sit at lunch. Life is good right? Hmm...but who's that person...oh wait it's that now junior who you ran into freshman year. You glance. they glance. It's awkward, but you're glad to have caught their eye. It continues, but no words are ever exchanged. Sad life. Well at least your grades got better. You finish your sophomore year off great, but you still haven't gotten one word of conversation in...

JUNIOR
oh boy. finally the word you've been waiting to hear since freshman year. UPPERCLASSMEN. You rule the school. okay no you don't ha! you're still under the seniors. You love 'em but they gotta GO. Hold on now. Let them have their time. They've been waiting. You can finally walk around school with your eyes closed. It's a great feeling. This year you actually have a chance to become something. Joining clubs, finding new friends...starting to figure out your life goals. everything has gone by so fast. this year is going to one of the best. You walk in and see your friends. You're glad that you have security like that. STOP. who is that? oh god. It's once again that now SENIOR. They walk in...they got 100 times better over the summer. Your heart skips a beat...well tons actually. It's a good feeling, but you're now more nervous than ever before. Why? You've looked at them for 3 years now, what's the problem? You can't figure it out. Well you do REALLY well this year (it's all about progression :D ) You feel great. You finally find the courage to talk to this person. You feel super confident, and it shows. SCORE. Your life is pretty awesome huh? You go to prom, and have the best time of your life, and hopefully it's with this person. You end junior year off...and now you're ready to get the hell out right? one more year to go.

SENIOR
BEST YEAR EVER. Especially 2nd semester I hear. Of course I haven't gotten there yet, but when it happens I'll be sure to post that :)
You go to prom again. You get accepted into college! three, four, five colleges. It's awesome. Wait...is this year OVER? You reach into your closet and grab your cap and gown. You arrive at your school and you look around. You've made it, and in a few hours you'll be an alumni. You look back three years and you see your little freshman self looking confused and you smile. Hell, you grin. maybe even a tear will well up in your eyes. The commencement ceremony starts. You look around and you see all of your classmates. You feel proud. You feel accomplished. You stand up. They call your name and you look out and you see two little faces. One is crying and one looks so very proud. It's your parents. I'll let you decide which one cries. Around them you see your family. It's a great feeling. You shake the hand that gives you your diploma. You finally exhale and lift your hands to the sky. You're almost there. What's a graduation without the tossing of the cap? It's the end. You are pronounced the class of [enter class year here]. You lift that sucker off your head and throw it into the air! You've made it! Congrats. Bye high school and helloooo graduation money!

get ready for college!

excuse me, let me introduce myself.

I never get to introduce myself so here it is.

17 I Black & Irish I 2012 I Theatre
Confidence I Single I Existence

these are really funny

these put a little joy in my life today.

Meet Otto--My future mascot

Meet Otto--My future mascot, a photo by CaptureKen on Flickr.

Oh I'm going to Syracuse. I am GOING.

It's my dream school. I told myself I'd never have a number one.

I lied. THIS IS MY NUMBER ONE. I wil cry if I don't get in.
I pray every night. SYRACUSE! Take me!

GO ORANGE!

Class of 2012

Class of 2012, a photo by CaptureKen on Flickr.

My lovely class ring I waited so long for. $400 dollars later this baby came in the mail, and I just had to take a picture.

This symbolizes my high school career and all the hard work, sweat, and tears I put into this. All the A's, F's and everything in between. I made it.

things that make me happy.

Europe. traveling. music. family. home.

I don't know about you, but this picture makes me cringe {in the good way} because there's so much culture and vivacity in this photograph I took. This was in Prague during my Europe trip.

What I've Learned

I've been coming to the realization that this blog has been a diary for me to write my feelings, and it's okay that only 5 people read it from time to time. I know now that I no longer have to care about the number of followers that I have. It's a blog. A place for me to freely blog. That's all this is. It's not some job for me to keep up with. I just do it because I wanted to, and I'm confident in saying that I'm okay with this. It's my BLOG, and I want to reclaim it!

Yesterday

I saw Hemp Waffles in grocery market. I wish I took a picture because it would have been pretty darn amazing. No one believes me. Hate that.

White Lace Cape Dress | Women's Fashion Shopping Online | DOLL BOUTIQUE

Reverse - White Lace Cape Dress | Women's Fashion Shopping Online | DOLL BOUTIQUE


This dress has a 70's flair with some 80's/90's grunge rock combat boots.

kinda ironic with the 70's being a time of peace and the 80's look of war.

pretty spectacular?

I Wish

I wish people didnt bullshit all the time. I wish people you say what they mean when they say it. Cause you know there are people out there who dont want you to fully know what they’re trying to say, cause they only want it to make sense to them, thinking that they gave you a good answer or reason for what ever it was that was going on. I wish people appreciated others more, and didnt take kind hearts and twist them to how they see fit. The world would be a better place, people would be better if everyone would stop dicking around with each others feelings and emotions. I wish I didnt get weird when affection is shown to me. I wish I didnt feel like Im not good enough for you. I wish that you saw yourself the way I see you, and I wish you knew how much I appreciate you.

for more
the website is http://lacemcgrace.tumblr.com/

I need a Nikon

I need a new camera, like now. It's so not even funny. My mom has one and she won't let me touch it. It's that annoying.

Wisdom is Divine: Look Both Ways

Just a little post to say what's up!

Happy Father's Day Daddy!
I love you.
Kendall

This Says It All

The Perfect Dress for Mom

So, I've never posted anything here personally about my mother. She gives away all her free time to me, my dad, the house, and our lives that she forgets to think about herself. It's really sad because this used to be the lady who never bought any shoes less than $200. Crazy right? I spent 30 bucks for shoes at DSW and felt bad afterwards. :/ Well, anyway, my mother deserves so much more so when I saw this dress I KNEW I had to save up to buy it for mommy dearest. I feel like this would make her feel young and rejuvenated to be the best woman she can be. She deserves it. It's coming in the mail.



Love you mommy
Enjoy :)

And Then I Lost It

I remember losing it as a twelve year old in a movie theatre with a boy who I had known since elementary school. I remember losing it as a fourteen year old in a movie theatre with a boy I knew for a year. I remember losing it as a sixteen year old to a guy who was too old for me, too experienced, too much for me. I remember losing my sexy.

Swear to God it may sound crazy, but every being in my body forgets what I've seen in movies, in Marie Claire articles, and in what my mother has told me. I forget how to be sexy. And if that isn't enough being a klutz doesn't help the situation. I found myself getting nervous…always being conscious about how my body moved here, how i kissed there, was my hand in the right place? God, everything came to a halt. I would question if I was good, or better yet, how I could improve. They said I was fine. FINE. Fine wasn't good enough for me.

There I lost it some more.

I wreaked havoc upon boys my age. I became cold. I didn't want anyone around me. I was hurt, but in reality it was my own damn fault. I was self inflicting pain upon myself because I lost what I thought I'd keep forever. I was damaging my ego. And then one day, I quit.

I quit trying to be this perfect, utterly romantic (and quite disgusting) human I wanted to be. I saw my imperfections and embraced them. I saw what others (esp. guys) saw in me. I saw my Coca Cola bottle body and learned to love it. Each curve, each roll, each dimple. I learned that my lanky body had evolved into this Junoesque figure that bewildered men when I passed by. Hips for making love for each hour on end. I learned to love.

And then I reclaimed it.

SUMMER!!!

FINALLY! JUNIOR YEAR IS OVER!

I have been waiting so long to say that! It's so weird because I'm officially/unofficially as SENIOR! I can't believe how fast high school has gone by, but it's an amazing feeling. Now, I just have to get into college. BUT I'm not worried about that right now. SUMMER 2011! I have a job, a great trip to Europe in 5 day, and awesome friends. I can't wait to blog about more!

Have a great summer!
Kendall

I Really Feel Like Crying

I hate feeling misunderstood. It's like I can't force myself to cry, but I feel them welling up inside of me.

Life Gets Better: Summer Edition

FINALLY!
Summer is here, sorta. I still have 7 days of school left. I'm not complaining because I'm almost done with junior year! AH, a sigh of relief because I'm going to college in a year and 2 mos. I count down like that. Yes, I still have senior year…but STILL. I can feel it in my bones. Everything is so exciting. My friends I love are graduating (btw so proud, Woodward class of 2011!) I'm just really loving life right now.

Relationships
Not really worried about it right now. I know I can be overbearing with relationships, but this summer (and this year) I just want to be chill about it. I've realized it's not the guys…it's me, and I think that's an important thing to remind yourself of when you feel down about a situation with the opposite sex. Reevaluate what you're doing, instead of blaming others for your own actions. I'm trying to stop being paranoid. This year, funny story, I ALWAYS thought people were talking about me…but they weren't. I've learned (or accepting the fact) that it's me…and if I actually want someone to like me, well, I need to show them me.

Plans for summer 2011
I got a job! Working at a summer camp with my best friend. It's pretty amazing…and I might be living with her the whole summer? Success. Of course, I'll come home on the weekends, but it's the idea that makes me pretty excited.

Oh bring it on summer reading, college essays, SAT/ACT, and the ultimate fun.
Summer 2011, you're mine.
Kendall

New Hurr!

I LOVE MY HAIR. SWEAR TO GOD.
It's so shiny and pretty. Ah, I love it.
It's heaven.
ken.

Lugubrious

Let me first start off by saying…
"This is NOT happening again."
It's like some higher power doesn't want me to be happy, I swear it.
The worse thing is…it feels like my fault…again.
But the funny thing is…I never date any of these guys.
I can never find this happy medium. It's always one thing is good…and one thing is bad.
It can never be equally lovely.
All I want now, is some peace, quiet, tea, and my bed.
Because all of this is making me lugubrious.

today was...

Misty
and not that pretty mist that gently frolics upon your cheeks, but that mist that makes you feel sweaty. It was dark today. Nothing had life…no energy lived through each human body I encountered today. It was tragic. I have never seen such a dreary place like my school today. Ever. I hate these days.

On Life
My life lately has been this whirlwind of mass emotions. I don't feel like myself with these ups and downs. I practically yelled at my mother because she touched my hair. See, the little things are pissing me off lately. I don't like it. Somedays I'm excited to wake up and enjoy the day, but today, I just wanted sleep in with my pillows. Spring isn't starting off too well. My allergies are getting in the way, and it's never a good day when I lose my singing voice. I feel rather disconnected to my being without my voice. As for my speaking voice, forget it. I sound like a man…which brings my confidence level down x4000.

On Love
I met a guy recently. I have to say we're pretty much the same person. Like, if there were a boy version of me, he would be it. I spent some time talking to him over facebook chat (what a great way to communicate:sarcasm) and he's an awesome guy…too bad he's in a "relationship" I really don't know what that means, his idea of it at least. I don't know where I'd like to take this friendship, but I hope it goes somewhere and soon. Another guy, whose name shall not be revealed, was in my dream last night. In my head it was beautiful. He was my Finn and I was his Rachel. It wasn't anything sexual. You know when you envision a guy looking at you and his eyes are so intently set upon your face? Yeah, it was like that all night long. I didn't need him to say anything in my dream, but when I woke up I realized that it wasn't real…which is a shame. At school, I guess he's known for being an ass, but maybe I'm blinded by my perception of him that I don't see the real thing. Maybe I'm right…and their wrong.

On Sexuality
More and more each day, I'm finding out that mother dearest is always right. She told me verbatim, "Kendall, I'd like you to keep your promise to not have sex until, but I don't think that will happen." I wondered to myself if she thought I was a whore…or something to that extent. Nonetheless, she's right. As much as I'd like to hold onto this precious gift that I have it seems nearly impossible because everywhere I go, I see a boy and I automatically undress them in my mind. Crude? No. Curious. Absolutely. I'm not caught up in that "Notebook" sex, nor in that "Kim Kardashian sex tape" sex, but I would like to experience something. I don't know. I guess being intimate with someone scares me. I yearn for skin to skin contact (not the hand holding contact) but the real thing. The idea of being half naked with someone else creeps me out, yet it excites me. Is it so bad to say that I'd like for some guy's hands (that I like) caressing my back to the nape of my neck? No? It makes me laugh because I know most guys my age really just want to "get it in" but maybe I want to "get it in" Girls my age act like they don't want it…but they do because I want it too. awkward

Now If I could just get back to homework...

What's It Like?

What's it like to kiss someone three times only to have them ignore you?
What's it like to fall for your ex all over again?
What's it like to put on makeup everyday knowing that he won't look at you?
What's it like to feel something for an underclassmen but scared because you're older?
What's it like to feel like you're the glue that holds your family together?
What's it like to try your hardest in school but make average grades?
What's it like to feel that no guy on this planet would ever like you?

Welcome to the Girl World.
Enjoy.

Apology

I am so sorry that I have not had the time to blog. Junior year is really kicking my butt now. I'm so tired and exhausted from rehearsal that I can barely move. I basically run to my bed...and stay there! So I apologize for not being as active as I'd like. Spring Break is tomorrow so that's really good. Off to New York for college touring. Excited? not really. LOL. I may sound a little pessimistic, but you'll have to forgive me.
thanks!
kendall

New Follower!

YES! Success! I'm so excited for my new follower Anto4177!!
Thank you so much girl!!

The Tracks of My Tears

I'm just being really emotional today. Between the physical pain of removing my wisdom teeth to the emotional pain of a boyfriend that I can't get over, I really just want to cry. I think crying myself to sleep is going to be the best way to go. In a way crying is a little haunting, but it sometimes comforts me. I've wanted to cry at school (actually, I've done that) so never mind. Sometimes I question my actions and wonder if they could even be justified now. Probably not. Jesus, you know when you mess up...and you KNOW you dun messed up? (lol at the "dun") I don't know. I just never thought that my ex would move on that fast. It breaks my heart because he was truly that one person that kind understood me. Oh and not to mention my mother LOVES him. I vividly remember after algebra last year we'd walk to our lockers because we were literally 10 lockers away from each other and we'd sit at his locker, and awkwardly stare into space because we didn't know what to talk about. I guess that silence was okay; we were okay to be with each other in complete silence (well, that's how I felt). He'd hold my hand and we'd sit on the ground and wait for everyone to leave their lockers so we could be alone. That aloneness was only for all of 5 minutes. Best five minutes of my day in the 10th grade. Then we'd have to leave. He had baseball, I had theatre. He kissed my cheek so tenderly, like almost as if he didn't want to hurt my face. I kissed his cheek the same way. I personally think we were scared :) kiss, hug, hold hands, part. the routine...everyday, and it was great. I didn't think I would be taking that for granted, you know? Something so small, so simple, yet it could leave the biggest print on my heart. Now I stand here questioning why I broke up with him, and why I can't get him back.

Outside I'm masquerading
Inside my hope is fading
Just a clown oh yeah
Since you put me down
My smile is my make up
I wear since my break up with you..
So take a good look at my face
You'll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it's easy to trace
The tracks of my tears
-Smokey Robinson & The Miracles

p.s. happy 11 months to the two people who keep holding on
John & Alix
<3

Mama Who Bore Me

MOM:want some vaseline for your cheeks?
me: what's that gonna do?
MOM:that's the cure all for everything.

I swear, whenever I have a womanly/bodily problem my mother pulls out the vaseline from nowhere.
&& the funny thing is
it works
kendall

Sans Makeup

click here for the article
I LOVE APRICOT-TEA!

yours truly without makeup :)

Whaddup W. Rachel Zoe?

SHUT IT...SHUT IT...SHUT IT DOWN!
-this woman has made my day so far. I love her show & she made me realize what I want to do in life.