The fruits of my labor

I went to a community garden to do my botany project and for once I felt a little peace. Everything was so natural. Nothing there was fake like the world I live in. It was real and genuine. I couldn't help but feel at peace with the world. I felt one with it. I used to hate soil, but feeling its earthiness grounded me. It was a strange feeling. It's the only place I felt alive.

sigh.

I believe I'm a little fucked up.

my life right now is an unexpected mess.
my ex defends his new girlfriend's shit starting best friend.
my mother is pissing me off.
i don't have a sense of who i am anymore...
and the only thing that is making me feel a little better is...
well nothing.