Just a little post to say what's up!
I love you.
Kendall
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Saturday, June 18, 2011
The Perfect Dress for Mom
So, I've never posted anything here personally about my mother. She gives away all her free time to me, my dad, the house, and our lives that she forgets to think about herself. It's really sad because this used to be the lady who never bought any shoes less than $200. Crazy right? I spent 30 bucks for shoes at DSW and felt bad afterwards. :/ Well, anyway, my mother deserves so much more so when I saw this dress I KNEW I had to save up to buy it for mommy dearest. I feel like this would make her feel young and rejuvenated to be the best woman she can be. She deserves it. It's coming in the mail.
Love you mommy
Enjoy :)
Love you mommy
Enjoy :)
And Then I Lost It
I remember losing it as a twelve year old in a movie theatre with a boy who I had known since elementary school. I remember losing it as a fourteen year old in a movie theatre with a boy I knew for a year. I remember losing it as a sixteen year old to a guy who was too old for me, too experienced, too much for me. I remember losing my sexy.
Swear to God it may sound crazy, but every being in my body forgets what I've seen in movies, in Marie Claire articles, and in what my mother has told me. I forget how to be sexy. And if that isn't enough being a klutz doesn't help the situation. I found myself getting nervous…always being conscious about how my body moved here, how i kissed there, was my hand in the right place? God, everything came to a halt. I would question if I was good, or better yet, how I could improve. They said I was fine. FINE. Fine wasn't good enough for me.
There I lost it some more.
I wreaked havoc upon boys my age. I became cold. I didn't want anyone around me. I was hurt, but in reality it was my own damn fault. I was self inflicting pain upon myself because I lost what I thought I'd keep forever. I was damaging my ego. And then one day, I quit.
I quit trying to be this perfect, utterly romantic (and quite disgusting) human I wanted to be. I saw my imperfections and embraced them. I saw what others (esp. guys) saw in me. I saw my Coca Cola bottle body and learned to love it. Each curve, each roll, each dimple. I learned that my lanky body had evolved into this Junoesque figure that bewildered men when I passed by. Hips for making love for each hour on end. I learned to love.
And then I reclaimed it.
Swear to God it may sound crazy, but every being in my body forgets what I've seen in movies, in Marie Claire articles, and in what my mother has told me. I forget how to be sexy. And if that isn't enough being a klutz doesn't help the situation. I found myself getting nervous…always being conscious about how my body moved here, how i kissed there, was my hand in the right place? God, everything came to a halt. I would question if I was good, or better yet, how I could improve. They said I was fine. FINE. Fine wasn't good enough for me.
There I lost it some more.
I wreaked havoc upon boys my age. I became cold. I didn't want anyone around me. I was hurt, but in reality it was my own damn fault. I was self inflicting pain upon myself because I lost what I thought I'd keep forever. I was damaging my ego. And then one day, I quit.
I quit trying to be this perfect, utterly romantic (and quite disgusting) human I wanted to be. I saw my imperfections and embraced them. I saw what others (esp. guys) saw in me. I saw my Coca Cola bottle body and learned to love it. Each curve, each roll, each dimple. I learned that my lanky body had evolved into this Junoesque figure that bewildered men when I passed by. Hips for making love for each hour on end. I learned to love.
And then I reclaimed it.
Friday, May 27, 2011
SUMMER!!!
FINALLY! JUNIOR YEAR IS OVER!
I have been waiting so long to say that! It's so weird because I'm officially/unofficially as SENIOR! I can't believe how fast high school has gone by, but it's an amazing feeling. Now, I just have to get into college. BUT I'm not worried about that right now. SUMMER 2011! I have a job, a great trip to Europe in 5 day, and awesome friends. I can't wait to blog about more!
Have a great summer!
Kendall
I have been waiting so long to say that! It's so weird because I'm officially/unofficially as SENIOR! I can't believe how fast high school has gone by, but it's an amazing feeling. Now, I just have to get into college. BUT I'm not worried about that right now. SUMMER 2011! I have a job, a great trip to Europe in 5 day, and awesome friends. I can't wait to blog about more!
Have a great summer!
Kendall
Friday, May 20, 2011
I Really Feel Like Crying
I hate feeling misunderstood. It's like I can't force myself to cry, but I feel them welling up inside of me.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Life Gets Better: Summer Edition
FINALLY!
Summer is here, sorta. I still have 7 days of school left. I'm not complaining because I'm almost done with junior year! AH, a sigh of relief because I'm going to college in a year and 2 mos. I count down like that. Yes, I still have senior year…but STILL. I can feel it in my bones. Everything is so exciting. My friends I love are graduating (btw so proud, Woodward class of 2011!) I'm just really loving life right now.
Relationships
Not really worried about it right now. I know I can be overbearing with relationships, but this summer (and this year) I just want to be chill about it. I've realized it's not the guys…it's me, and I think that's an important thing to remind yourself of when you feel down about a situation with the opposite sex. Reevaluate what you're doing, instead of blaming others for your own actions. I'm trying to stop being paranoid. This year, funny story, I ALWAYS thought people were talking about me…but they weren't. I've learned (or accepting the fact) that it's me…and if I actually want someone to like me, well, I need to show them me.
Plans for summer 2011
I got a job! Working at a summer camp with my best friend. It's pretty amazing…and I might be living with her the whole summer? Success. Of course, I'll come home on the weekends, but it's the idea that makes me pretty excited.
Oh bring it on summer reading, college essays, SAT/ACT, and the ultimate fun.
Summer 2011, you're mine.
Kendall
Summer is here, sorta. I still have 7 days of school left. I'm not complaining because I'm almost done with junior year! AH, a sigh of relief because I'm going to college in a year and 2 mos. I count down like that. Yes, I still have senior year…but STILL. I can feel it in my bones. Everything is so exciting. My friends I love are graduating (btw so proud, Woodward class of 2011!) I'm just really loving life right now.
Relationships
Not really worried about it right now. I know I can be overbearing with relationships, but this summer (and this year) I just want to be chill about it. I've realized it's not the guys…it's me, and I think that's an important thing to remind yourself of when you feel down about a situation with the opposite sex. Reevaluate what you're doing, instead of blaming others for your own actions. I'm trying to stop being paranoid. This year, funny story, I ALWAYS thought people were talking about me…but they weren't. I've learned (or accepting the fact) that it's me…and if I actually want someone to like me, well, I need to show them me.
Plans for summer 2011
I got a job! Working at a summer camp with my best friend. It's pretty amazing…and I might be living with her the whole summer? Success. Of course, I'll come home on the weekends, but it's the idea that makes me pretty excited.
Oh bring it on summer reading, college essays, SAT/ACT, and the ultimate fun.
Summer 2011, you're mine.
Kendall
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